The waitings over!

At last little Ozi is here and i couldn't be a prouder mama! I am completely and utterly in love, he is my missing puzzle piece and no words could express how thankful I am to Mike for giving me the most precious gift in the world.

Oscar Franklin May born 22nd June 2013 at 9.02am 

I wanted to write down my birth story so I never forget the tinniest detail of the most special day in my life, so I thought i'd share it. Unfortunately I will not slack on the details so i warn you now there is a good chance of many 'TMI' bits, so if you are squeamish beware! Ok here it goes!

It was the day before when I had a tiny inkling things might be kicking off. I had almost lost hope of my home birth being only 2 days until I would be induced, so when I say tiny, i mean TINY.
But I thought i'd stay positive and told Mike we should go for a walk just incase things are getting going. So we went to the pub, hey, a walk is a walk! We also went for a walk round the park a little later and walking was HARD. Ok, being that pregnant its hard to do anything, but something just felt different so I remained optimistic, and it certainly paid off.
So we went to bed and watched an episode of the hustle, not the slightest of twinges so a little bit disheartened but as I said I had pretty much lost hope anyway.
As soon as we lay down to go to sleep it happened. Pain. It was pretty intense for the start, bearable, but I couldn't sleep through it. Mike wasn't all that convinced, I think he'd lost hope too. It was even me who suggested timing them whereas every other bout of practice contractions he was quick to whip out his phone and start timing. So we timed a few and they were coming fairly often and like clockwork, where as before they had been a bit all over the place. So Mike suggested texting Barbara (our midwife) to give her a heads up as it was getting late and she'd probably be going to bed soon. She got right back to us asking for the timings so Mike sent them too her and informed her i was 'peeing like a race horse' and her response was 'I'm on my way!' I was praying this wasn't more practice contractions and I was dragging her out of bed for nothing, its a good job Mike insisted we text her, if it was left up to me id have waited until you could see the head, just to be sure!
She got here shortly after and observed, by this point I was having quite strong contractions which I couldn't talk through which is a good sign of labor. She checked to see how dilated I was and I was about 4cm so things were definitely kicking off! So we started preparing, Barbara went and picked up her student and Mike pumped up the pool. Before I knew it a few hours had passed, time was really flying and I was soon in the pool to help ease the contractions.
Oh, if you haven't figured it out by now, I had a home birth. I always liked the idea of a home birth, Mike was very anti it at first and it was only when the midwife suggested it and told us a bit more about it we decided to go for it.  I knew Mike wasn't 100% convinced, but it was the only way we could guarantee to have a pool, which he knew I really wanted.
Anyway, back to the story!
The pool was AMAZING it eased the contractions immensely and was so comfortable. I just wore a strappy t shirt in which was perfect to cover up a little without having something way me down too much.
I had previously got a few DVD's I thought id watch to take my mind off the pain but all I wanted to do was sit in the pool quietly. I talked a little with the midwife, student and Mike but those little bouts of silence were nice and relaxing and the midwife clocked on to when I didn't want to talk.
Did the pool really ease the contractions that much? Let me put it this way, I got out for a wee a few times and every time I had a contraction on the toilet. Almost every one of these contractions made me throw up, the first a rather violent projectile vomit at the toilet, covering half the bathroom in the process. So I would definitely say the water eased it immensely.
Considering things all kicked off at about 11pm, I was getting pretty tired so although I'd learnt all about exercises to keep moving during labor in my active birth class, I just didn't feel like doing any of it.
Mike went for a nap at one point, I thought it was important for him to get some rest, he would be more use to me then!! After an hour or so we had to wake him to get some more warm water for the pool, he was shocked I was now 7cm dilated! The contractions were a lot stronger at this point and it was nice to have him back for support. Not long after they got VERY strong, only just bearable with controlled  breathing (this really works, id definitely recommend a birthing class to learn these techniques) and the midwife offered me gas and air which I thought id give a go. It was brilliant! Although the contractions were still painful it took the edge off, it also made me very spaced out and in a way I wish I could have done it without because the rest of the birth is a bit of a blur. The contractions got PAINFUL, but I breathed through them with help of the gas & air and stayed as relaxed as I could.
As I said, this bit was a blur so i'll tell you what I do remember.
The door bell rang a lot. I think it was only twice but it seemed like loads, i wondered if someone had called the police! Not that I was really making any noise. It was only mum then the 2nd midwife Kerry, but I don't really remember them coming in.
Wanting to push. I was pushing a bit with each contraction as they got strong as it helped relieve the pain slightly, but I remember telling Barbara I felt the urge to push and she went 'oooooo!' Possibly checked me again at that point I can't remember.
My waters breaking. I was pushing and felt a pop, it was quite a relief, Mike noticed first and told Barbara.
Mum. Mike called mum, I can't really remember her coming in but I can remember her holding my hand throughout and telling me how good I was doing. I'm so glad she was there, her support during the birth was just brilliant and after at hospital, well I couldn't imagine it without her there, she was a lifesaver. Oops spoiler alert!
Mike. Like mum he held my hand throughout and never left my side. He was my rock and I can't believe how fantastic he was throughout the whole birth.

Then the gas & air ran out. I was a little worried id have to deal with the worst bit without but I was so focused I soon forgot. Looking back I'm glad it did because I can remember a bit more about the most important part. Pushing.
Pushing was hard. By this point I was exhausted and it felt like I was never going to get him out. I had my eyes closed throughout and kept swapping between being on my back with mum & Mike holding me up (I kept dunking my head in the water and shouting at them to keep my ears out!) and on my knees leaning over the side. I pushed and pushed and I could sense the midwife wasn't happy with how things were going and eventually she asked me to get out of the pool and come lie on the bed, I wasn't sure what was going on but I obeyed.
His head was stuck and he was getting stressed. The midwife did a episiotomy, I didn't feel it, i was just concentrating on pushing, but Mike said the sound alone was horrible. And then out he came! It was the weirdest sensation him coming out, I remember it so clearly.
The atmosphere was a little tense, he was whisked off to the other side of the room. Time stood still until I heard those first little cries. They were strong but you could hear the bubble sound of the muck in his lungs. Someone said ambulance and I panicked. I kept looking to mum asking if he was ok, she did her best to reassure me he was fine but I could see the worry in her eyes.
Barbara explained he had inhaled the meconium he had passed on his way out from the stress and needed to go to hospital, two ambulances were on their way, one for him then one for me after as we were waiting for the placenta to come. He was put on my chest for some skin to skin briefly but he was wrapped in towels and I couldn't see him. just feel his little warm body squirming.
The paramedics came, I was lying there butt naked but I couldn't have cared less. Kerry the midwife and Mike took Ozi in the ambulance and my placenta came out just as they left. Luckily I managed to tell the midwife I wanted to keep it and mum got it in the fridge for me.
There was a LOT of blood. Mum was great grabbing all the last bits I needed to take (luckily I had packed my hospital bag just in case!!)
The second ambulance arrived and off we went. The paramedics were interested in all Mikes foam stuff he was building, they were really nice and kept me laughing all the way to the hospital. Once there I was wheeled into a room to be stitched up. Mike came in, he said Ozi was doing good but was taken to NICU to start antibiotics as a precaution. He had two photos they took.

Seeing your child in a photo before you see them in person is weird, i mean really weird. One was a close up of his face. My first thought was he looks like me, also he's huge! The second picture was his full body, but he had wires and all sorts stuck to him and I didn't like looking at it.
I stared at his beautiful face as I was being sewed up, it was painful but just looking at my son, for the first time took my mind off it.
After she finished she got me some tea and toast, boy did I need that! and had a bath. I was so eager to meet my little man, but it was nice to make myself feel slightly more human first!
They put me in a wheelchair as I was struggling to walk and getting very out of breath and off we went to NICU. If you've never been to an baby intensive care unit, its not a nice place. Sick little babies in incubators wired up to machines, most too sick to move or cry, but there at the back was a little body wriggling and screaming at the top of his lungs. There was Oscar. He wasn't in a full incubator, just the bottom bit but was still had lots of wires on his little body. He didn't really look like the picture, he was much smaller, he was beautiful.

So thats pretty much my birth story, as I said its mainly so I can remember as much as possible, but its a good read if your thinking of a home birth.

Would I have another home birth? Definitely, although we had a few problems with getting hold of midwives and stuff, we always had a number to contact someone. Mike got a bit pee'd off at times but everyone needs time off! Our main concern was what if something went wrong and we wern't in hospital, but everyone was so quick, knew exactly what they were doing and I couldn't fault them.

 I love my midwife, id even go as far as to request her if we have another and ill be sad after her last visit.

Am I happy with who I had there? Yes, Im so please my midwife wasn't on holiday! I was getting worried he'd arrive on her day off and we'd have some stranger! I was happy to have her student there, although when she first asked I thought it would be a little weird it was good to have an extra pair of hands and I like to help out where I can, I don't know how many births she's attended but i'm sure the experience helped her out. Obviously Mike was going to be there, he really really impressed me with how calm and supportive he was, and i'm really glad he went to the hospital with Ozi so he had someone familiar with him. Mum, although she only came towards the end I'm so glad she was there for his arrival. She was extremely supportive and invaluable once he was born and Oz was rushed off. She got together the last bits I needed for the hospital, she was really helpful getting me bathed and stuff once we were in hospital and she even came and sorted out the pool and tidied up the house the next day bless her!!! I'm sure seeing her grandson being born was an amazing experience too.

Pain relief - I'm so glad I had no pay relief (other than gas and air) to be honest, I don't see the need for epidurals and stuff. Although it was painful I can't imagine not feeling it. In fact I regret using gas and air a little as there are now parts I can't remember as clearly as i'd like too. I understand people have different pain thresholds and deal with it differently but I would recommend an active birth class to learn some good breathing techniques as thats what got me through it.

Would I change anything? Of course the obvious, i'd want him to be well and now have to rush to hospital but even something good came out of that, the support I received from the hospital was great (mostly) especially with breastfeeding so maybe if we hadn't gone to hospital i'd have had a problem feeding. As for the actual birth I don't think i'd change a thing, I would have loved to have him in the pool and avoided being cut open, but at least I got my home birth.

Whats it like being a mama? Amazing. I cannot find the words for how much love I feel for this little man, every little smile (even if it is wind) brings a tear to my eye and every cry breaks my heart. Im so relieved he is healthy and am so excited to watch him grow and learn.

And lastly I want to thank Mike, for helping me create this amazing little life, for being there for me every step of the way, for being amazing during the birth and now being the most amazing dad. Seeing the love in his eyes for our boy only makes me love him more. He took to it so naturally, Oz is one lucky little boy to have him as a daddy.

                                                                               ♥